Here I am, NAK ("nursing at the keyboard" - no, I did not just make that up). It's the epitome of life as a wife and mom of four children - multitasking, or better stated juggling multiple activities or persons at once.
Most of the time I feel very laid back and even confident about the training of the children and the running of the house - not that the kids are behaving perfectly or every meal is delicious, but there's a system for handling the issue or "doing the next thing". More and more though I'm seeing the need to update the system, it wasn't designed for a house full of running children with school to be taught and a list of chores to be done.
The system is starting to fail more and more. More days when one ball gets a little off and as I struggle to get it back in the right orbit, the others start to waiver as well. The next thing I know, all the balls have gotten away from me and are bouncing all over the place. The kicker is, it's really not the balls that's the problem...it's me, my attitude, my reaction to the balls not behaving perfectly that's the problem.
So, come to think of it, a new system isn't going to fix it...I need a more Christ-like Jenn.
A Jenn who is "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" James 1:19.
A Jenn whose "love suffers long and is kind....does not behave rudely, does not seek its own" 1 Cor 13:4,5. A Jenn who, as a servant of the Lord, "must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will" 2 Timothy 2:24-26. - Those being "in opposition" are the children or the dinner plans going awry (not that dinner can be repent and come to it's senses, but you get the idea).
This parenting thing continues to reveal more and more of my faults - yuck! I so wish it was an easy fix like juggling lessons or a new and improved system. Unfortunately it's me. But, as Shepherding a Child's Heart is re-teaching me, "...that Christ came because we are sinful and needy people" in need of a savior; - it all goes back to the cross.
Most likely I will revamp my system. I'll seek out others for godly wisdom and advice for training the kids. But, I will also come before the throne of God, fall on my knees again, and ask for His strength, His peace, His presence in my life.